The Dictated

THE DICTATED

I was thinking about when did it all change?

Today it seems ok to just openly judge someone. To say we like them or don't like them. To analyze them to death on how we feel they are right or wrong. It is not getting better. It is getting worse. When I was younger if someone did something others did not like we were taught to be respectful. To openly judge them was considered rude. Even if we talked privately it was not ok to shove are viewpoints in others faces.

Even how people talk about how "they feel" the disabled should be treated in some cases totally ignores and disrespects the feelings of the disabled themselves.

When did this change happen. Was it the talk shows? Everyone airing their problems to the public to be dissected to death by society. Watching them be analyzed to death by the Dr. Phils. When did we all start to think we were a bunch of Dr. Phils? Or was it all those reality shows where its ok to judge the weakest link and vote them out if we deem they are not worthy enough. Maybe it happened when we started letting all the therapists think for us and slowly we began to loose are own ability to think for ourselves. Got a problem call a therapists. Well my parents had problems and they struggled through them and used their own minds to solve them. Their therapists were their neighbors and they all leaned on each other and it was free too.

We somehow think we can dictate who is right and who is wrong now. I know its always been like this in little ways but it has gotten much worse. One day the person who others is deciding is wrong and being analyzed to death as not being what others feel they should be may be you. Yes "you" the one reading this post right now.

Well I have been fighting for 3 years or more for my right to use my own voice and my own mind. I don't want the DR Phils of the world being the dictator of my life. I want to be my own dictator. I want my right to think and even make mistakes along the way. I am tired of a world that lost its mind by giving it to those who profess to know what is best. If they are so right in all their answers then why is it getting worse???

I call myself a disabled rights activist. Only because I keep fighting for my rights. One day you may loose yours then you will know what it really feels like to be one of the judged. People want to think for us disabled but I think it is crossing over to the other side = your side. Be careful you may loose your rights if you don't take them back soon. Bad news is you already lost them when you let them convince you that it was ok to be the dictator of others.

It is not inclusion for all. It is exclusion of all except those who choose to play the new game of life. Its not living its is simply existing in a world where your mind is now what others decided it should be.

Today is the day I am willing to say that I am a non-conformist, an autistic misfit, a recluse, a social slug, a geek, and a person who will never stop fighting for my rights to be myself in a world that refuses to accept me. When the world refuses to accept you one day, I hope and pray you have the strength to be what you need to be = yourself.

Old Paths Reborn

Old Paths Reborn

This is my newest Clay drawing and the process I went through to get there. Hope you enjoy.

I have come to learn that the path to relearn art is an art in itself. Several years ago I accidentally stumbled upon a site called the OFC while looking for Clay's new CD. I had no clue at the time that the CD I was searching for would not be released until Clay's version of "soon" played out so I had years to do other things.

I stumbled across blogs and bravely dove into one and posted something like this: "Clay said draw; I can do that." I was sticking my foot in my mouth. You see my version of "soon" is just like Clay's, so xxx4clay had many years to do other things, too.

Just to add, I am slow at jokes and about a year later I said to my roommate that xxx4clay was funny and always on the smut bus. My roommate said, "Duh, what do you think the xxx stands for?" I said, "Oh I get it." It just took a year or so.

Back to the subject. Finally I tried to draw Clay. I had several miserable failures and gave up many times. But then someone spurred me more. Clay's mom Faye saw my art and suggested I do some gift cards.

So off I went and busted my rear to draw them. I made three Christmas cards that were donated, and the proceeds went to TBAF. It sort of motivated me. I hoped that if I could draw Clay, and I could also share this with the Clay Nation.

The Clay Nation is the only group of people I ever met who placed no conditions for including me into their group; and, as a result, I set my own condition and that was to give back.

I never forgot my promise to xxx4clay either. So I sat down and finally drew Clay. Ok, it was not so good. I really could sense that it was not the best. I am not competitive except with myself, so I set out to "self compete." Thanks to some advice from another Clay fan, I was told to go to Linda Huber's Site; and off I went.

I am a self-taught artist who needed a lot of help. I have never known about art supplies or proper drawing materials. I have always just used what I could find at the store. I learned much from Linda Huber's site and was able to carry that forward to my second drawing.

Here is a letter I sent to Linda thanking her for her tutorials on her site:

Hi. Linda. My name is Kathy. I am known as Aspiegirl on Clay sites. I have autism and am high functioning. Or more high functioning than when a child. I used to draw when young (around age 12 or so, not sure of exact age when I just started drawing) but stopped around 10 years ago.

I am a very visual learner and I wanted to thank you so much. I drew two Clay face sketches, and they are the only ones I have done in 10 yrs or more. I came to your site after the first one and watched your videos. I downloaded them and watched them over and over.

Autistic's learn by seeing more than hearing. I wanted to show you what I drew. The one before watching your videos and the one after. I bought a 2B mechanical pencil (after I learned what it was) and used 2B and 3B graphite, better paper, and a tissue a lot like you suggest for "smoothing out."

I used the paper pencil some but was careful because this is new to me and had some trouble with that to get it to do what I wanted it to do.

I don't do graphing. I don't know how. I just measure with a piece of paper and put little dots. Like a dot on one corner of the eye and a dot on the other to get it proportioned right. So I have these little dots all over for spacing. HEEEE!!!!

Here is the drawing I did after your advice and the one I did before. Thank you so much.

((HUGS))

Kathy/Aspiegirl

Below are the "before and after Linda Huber lesson" drawings. The first one I drew before I watched her videos, and the second one is after I watched them. Thank you, Linda; and, most of all, thank you xxx4clay for planting the seed. Thank you to Phyllis, my second mom, for bugging me every day to keep on drawing.

Clickable of my first Clay Drawing

Clickable of AIW Drawing

Kathy

'Come Home' Montage

A New Montage To Share

Well I have finally learned to add some links and blogs to my new or should I say old blogspot. It has sat unused for over a year as I could not figure out all those codes. Thanks to my teacher, Carolina Clay, I have finally been able to actually comprehend some of these confusing and complex coding corridors.

I would like to share my latest montage and am also keeping my blog somewhat basic until I learn more of how to use this site.

My montage is a Clay Aiken montage using video clips and pictures of Clay. The song is "Come Home" performed by One Republic.

This is a tribute to family and parents everywhere and all who take the time to care for others and think beyond themselves and use their voice to create change within our world.

Clay with his mother Faye and brother Brett.

Here is a YouTube player for you to view the montage. I have also provided a Sendspace for anyone who wants to download it.

Come Home

Interesting Bit Of Information

I found out from JustanotherClayfan about the man who wrote this song:

I love this montage, it's just beautiful. I checked to see if Ryan Tedder wrote this song, and he did, according to Wikipedia. He's the guy who wrote OMWH: "Come Home OneRepublic Writer, Producer, Vocals, Keyboards and Guitar."

((Hugs to all))

Aspiegirl/Kathy